Its interesting how the flame of love suddenly just dies down once a man marries a woman. The same man who did so much to win the affection and attention of the woman, who is now is lawfully wedded, gradually begins to dwindle in the attention and display of affection. It appears men just believe that since they have not told their wives they don't love them, then the woman should know they still do.

However men and women think differently and with men you just need to tell him once that you love him and he keep believing it. Well as long as you don't tell him contrariwise. It doesn't work like that for women though. They need constant re-affirmation of your love. They need to be told everyday that you love them and that leads me to the reason for this post.

Its so easy to get carried away in the very legitimate pursuits of life and lose ourselves in the process. How do I mean? Most of us men are hardworking guys willling to make sacrifices to see our families protected, clothed, well fed and confident enough to stand in the midst of their peers without feeling inferior. So we work long hours to ensure a steady cash flow. We tend to believe that if I have gone out to do the hustling my wife should be able to keep the home front and I can just come home to a good lunch and the UEFA cup, right? Wrong!

The word of God commands us (very strong word uhn?) to love and cherish our wives. The word cherish is a loaded word. It means we are to treat them with respect, appreciation, attach importance to them, etc The original Greek implies keeping someone warm, protecting from harsh external conditions. A woman is wired to respond to feelings and so it matters a lot to her when her man understands the way she feels and more importantly responds to her emotional needs. Most women complain that their husbands are not romantic. What they really mean is that their husband is not "feeling" again. He doesn't send me flowers, doesn't write me love-notes, doesn't take me out for dinners and special treats, and so on and so forth. Actually what she's looking for is some attention and affection. She's simply expecting some T.L.C. from you. The interesting thing is that the T.L.C. she's expecting usually starts with all the domestic stuff- helping with the dishes, helping to keep the house clean, tucking the kids in for the night, helping with their homework, putting the shoes and socks where they should be, and so on.

In a place like Lagos where most parents both work, the woman feels abandoned when, after such a long and busy day at work and through the crazy traffic, she comes home to try and prepare dinner for the family and her husband simply sits behind the TV to watch the news or the latest UEFA cup match.

Let the romance start with the little things which we really don't love to do. Emptying the trash, putting on the genrator, maybe even cooking dinner. All these things matter to our wives and have a way of making them know we really love them after all they say actions speak louder that words, don't they?